Review Game of Thrones, S6E1 - The Red Woman

After a long winter, Game of Thrones has returned. So each week we'll be doing a mini review of the episode. Less of a review and more of a mini awards ceremony for ad-hoc categories.

Obviously spoilers.

Tits & Dragons

Inspired by Ian McShane's summary of Game of Thrones each review will start with the important metrics of number of tits and number of dragons.

• Tits: 2
• Dragons: 0

Number of deaths

Our count is 7 which is pretty tame.

• Doran Martell
• Trystane Martell
• 5 of Bolton's soldiers

Although when the Bolton's men catch up with Sansa and Theon, 6 men and 2 dogs arrive. We see 5 killed on screen and we guess the last man takes those dogs for a quick walk somewhere else.

Most Elaborate Introduction

Captured by a Dothraki horde, Daenerys is taken in front of their leader, Khal Moro. When he tries to touch her she orders him away and lets him know exactly who he is dealing with.

Most Gruesome Death

So when Trystane Martell is challenged by two of the Sand Snakes he made the fatal mistake of turning his back on one of them. Expecting a fight with some honour he was stabbed in the back of the head by a spear.

Unfortunately no one made the James Bondesqe pun, "I think he got the point."

Best Banter

Channelling Monty Python's Life of Brian "What have the Romans ever done for us?" brilliantly Khal Moro and his commanders discuss the best things in life. If you ever wondered what was on a Dothraki bucket list this is it:

• Seeing a beautiful woman naked for the first time
• Killing another Khal
• Conquering a City and taking her people as slaves, and taking her idols back to Vaes Dothrak
• Breaking a wild horse, forcing it to submit to your will

Tyrion's Best Moment

A strong contender for best banter, whilst walking around the city of Meeren, Tyrion and Varys are reminiscing about their youth.

"I used to steal from people like you when I was a boy," said Varys. 

"It's a good thing you're not a boy anymore," said Tyrion. "Because you have no cock."

Tyrion then goes and offers money to eat a lady's baby, so Varys manages a little bit of a comeback.

Overall

Enjoyable for a start of a new season.

Review by Paul and Alicia